Here I come, Into the Stretch...

So it's been brought to my attention that I have slacked off on my blogging (thanks Steve) and I have so many things to tell you guys!  On Sunday, April 10, 2011, at about 10 am, Doug and Carrie had the twins.  I became an aunt to a little boy, Landon Joseph (1 lb 5 oz) and a little girl, Rebecca Frances (1 lb 14 oz).  They were extremely premature born at 24 weeks.  Sunday night, at around 7, Landon passed away.  The doctors did everything they could for him but God had different plans.  It is very hard to pray for God's will to be done sometimes, knowing you may lose something so precious and innocent.  You find yourself asking why a lot, but there is a plan.  God planned this to happen from the beginning.  This is where our faith comes in and we have to trust that he knows best.  On Saturday, April 16, we laid Landon to rest.  He will never be forgotten, but now we can focus all of our energy on getting Rebecca better.  My brother had a good point.  Landon knew he had to come out, and he waited absolutely as long as he could because he knew Rebecca would have a better shot the longer she stayed in.  I truly believe God helped Landon hang in there as long as he did and his job is done.  He can finally rest and not have to worry about breathing and heart rates and blood pressure anymore.  I know he a better place than all of us and my grandma has him wrapped up and in her arms rocking away! 
Rebecca is doing VERY good.  I got to touch her last night!  She has tiny tiny hands (current weight 1 lb 15 3/4 oz.) but long fingers!  They were able to turn her over and let her lay on her stomach for a while.  Her little head is perfectly round now and she is so flawless.  I have never seen a baby that small.  Even her premie hat is too big!  And the little diaper she is wearing, it's like a doll diaper!  She is such a little miracle.  Let me stop and say that the nurses and doctors at Baptist have been wonderful to Doug and Carrie and Rebecca.  It is so nice to not have to worry about the care you are receiving when you are in a helpless situation. 
I know you locals have heard of Craws for a Cause.  Baptist Health is raising money to buy 2 Giraffe-OMNI Beds.  These are they type beds Landon was in and Rebecca currently is in.  I encourage all of you to attend  this event!  It's a fun way to give back.  It will be a great time for a good craws...I mean cause.  I suggest buying tickets early though.  We went down there last year and they sold out of tickets before we could even move in line.  Here is the website

http://crawsforacause.com/

On to cancer news.  I'm cured!  Well, I'm cancer free, so I consider that cured.  I still have to go through radiation though, which should not be near as bad as chemo.  I go in next week for a consultation to see how long and how much.  I'm assuming every day for 4-6 weeks, but I could be way off.  My counts were still low, but they should steadily start to rise.  Watch out Asian buffet, here I come!  I've been missing that place!  I also still have my hair! Well, some of it.  Just the crown of my head is pretty see through (hair wise).  However I found this AWESOME hair piece at Sally's, which is just a headband with hair coming off the back side of the headband.  It matches my hair perfectly!  It has really made my life much happier! 

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers during our rough time.  It was a crazy start to 2011 but things are starting to look up (i hope).  Bring on the sunshine! 

Better Late Than Never!

Well, I'm a little late on this blog, but here it goes!  So last week was number 3!  Can I get a Woot Woot?  Counts were very low, but for the most part, everything went well...until Thursday.  I woke up, did some laundry, did some dishes, then didn't make it off the couch the rest of the day.  Thank goodness my Dr. tried to be proactive with all the nausea medicine, because it sure came in handy!  I would hate to think of the condition I WOULD have been in had I not had it!  So Thursday and Friday were pretty bad, but thankfully those were (and have been) the only days I've felt, well, like poop.  Well, Saturday was not great, but for a different reason.  I think the time has come for me to say adios to my hair.  :( Not bald yet, however, Saturday morning was quite a shocker when I took a shower.  So we called Cara (at Halo Salon-give her a call for all your hair needs!) and she met us to do the 'chop off'.  This is my stage 2 out of 3 haircuts.  Stage 3 will probably be all gone.  This turned out to be a pretty good system though.  It really is less traumatic to see your hair come out if it is shorter.  At least for me!  I think I got all my tears about it out on Saturday though.  I'm so thankful to have such a great support system.  Funny story-I called my mom to tell her that I was going to get my hair cut and since I was upset, she got upset.  So when she got off the phone, still crying, her friends called.  They said 'We'll come get you and take you with us to cheer you up!  We're going to Hot Springs'.  Well, they get out here and come to find out, they are going to a FUNERAL!  Nice cheer up huh?  So...on the way, they see an estate sale, and for those of you who know momma Wanda, her car is trained to turn at garage sales and estate sales.  So they stop, low and behold..it is a sale..in an apartment..for a little old lady...who had just passed away.  I'm just glad they didn't try to cheer ME up!


Well, I meant to get this note posted yesterday before my Dr appointment, but no such luck.  I'll just include that appointment too!  2 Birds..1 Stone.  Counts are back up a little, not near normal though.   She did tell me that if it was any other type of cancer we would halt treatments, but since it's Hodgkins, we are pushing on through.  Next week will be (hopefully final) number four.  Then we have to schedule another PET scan to see where to go from there.  Could be more chemo, could be radiation, we shall seeeee!!

Until then...I'm going to keep my soon-to-be bald head up and keep on keepin on.
Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL week.  By the way, has anyone seen Spring?

Two Down, Two to Go, hopefully.

Well Monday was my second treatment and went, well, pretty much exactly like the first.  I did however find out that my blood counts were pretty low so my Dr. wants me to take extra precautions to not get sick.  This does involve me wearing a surgical mask when I'm in crowds, so...if you see me in WalMart or Target, I didn't just get a medical degree, it's dr's orders.  For now though, I'm just going to try to stay away from crowds period.

As of right now, I still have hair!  yay!  They said day 10-14, and we are on day 17 I think, so I may just be running behind.  I would love to think that this is a sign I will be one of the lucky ones who don't lose it, but I have to be prepared for reality.  I told Zach last night that I noticed my head hurting a little, but I can't tell if it is just me being paranoid about it or I actually am having little pains.  Either way, I have my hats and scarves on stand by.

On Tuesday, we laid my grandmother, Mary Hay, to rest.  The funeral was beautiful and I know she is in smiling down on us now.  I know how ready she was to see her brother and all of her sisters, especially my Aunt Margie and of course, my Poppa.  She will be greatly missed, but we all know she is in heaven.

I'm noticing my notes are getting shorter as I go along.  I know some of you are probably glad! The only reason is because my weeks are pretty boring (thank goodness) now that treatment has started.  Especially the week of treatment, I pretty much sleep it away!  Hopefully next week my counts will be back up and I can get out and do something!

Short and Sweet.

Hoping for a normal week. Went in for a checkup this morning, blood work and all.  Everything looks good.  My white blood cell count is a little low, but not bad low,and expected. So I just have to stay away from crowds and sick people.  Shouldn't be too hard.  I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow.  Still not sure if I am going to lose it, but I am planning on it.  The plan is to cut it shorter, that way when it happens, maybe it won't be so traumatic.  Humphh.  So much for long hair.
On a non cancer note...I did feel the earthquake last night.  However Zach didn't. Weird.

Hopefully this will be a good feeling week. Even though I wasn't sick last week, I pretty much slept through it.  This week should be back to the norm.  Then we start all over next Monday!

No sickness but *YAAAAWWNN* boy am I sleepy!

Well, here it is Thursday and I haven't been sick yet.  I would like to think that my body is just 'handling it well', but I'm pretty sure it is all the anti nausea medicines I've been taking!  Along with the anti nausea comes sleepiness though.  Yesterday I pretty much slept all day as well as last night, which was good.  However I did make time to squeeze in making a 'Happy Wednesday Griffin' cake.  You know, what kid doesn't need a Happy Wednesday cake?  Before you all think I'm crazy, this was an attempted cake gone bad and I had to salvage something out of it, so it just resulted in a little round vanilla cake, Griffin size.  Also, he started Mom's Day Out today.  Didn't even shed a tear.  I sure thought it was going to be emotional though!

Anyways, Doug and Carrie had their check up yesterday, still two babies!  It's just a waiting game now, still developing, still very little fluid.

There really hasn't been much change in my grandmother.  She eats a little, but mostly lays there.  We all visit her as much as we can and she knows we are all there for her.

Thanks again for remembering my family in your thoughts and prayers!   

Chemo Treatment Number One...Check

So that was it.  Yesterday was my first treatment.  As Zach said, chemo wise, we are 25% DONE.  All of my blood work came out fine, so we promptly got started.  They gave me some bendryl in one of the medicines so I pretty much slept for 3 and a half hours, other than that, I pretty much felt nothing.  It was a pretty emotional day for me though.  I found out that I probably will be losing my hair.  It should happen in about 10-14 days.  That was one of those things that no matter how much you expect it, I don't think I will ever be prepared for it.  And the waiting absolutely sucks, but I refuse to shave my head just in case that small percentage pulls through and it just thins a little.  One of the drugs, Adriamycin, the A in ABVD, is what makes it fall out.  They call it the 'Red Devil' and boy is it red.  Most of the time when you have an IV it's clear fluid coming in, but this was as red as blood and can burn if it even gets spilled on the skin.  Also, they say that my hair could come back a different color or texture or curly.  Now THAT is cool.
We did prepare for hair loss yesterday by going wig shopping.   This was an experience.  Short, long, curly, blond, red, brown, you name it, they had it.  I came home with 2, one from the Cancer Society and one from an actual wig shop. 

Today I went back in for fluids and anti nausea meds.  We are trying to cut the nausea off before it even has a chance to set in.  We'll know tomorrow or the next day if it works.  I'm not planning on being sick though, I've soooo got better things to do!

Also, Doug and Carrie's appointment went good last week.  Still have two babies!  They go in again tomorrow I believe for another checkup, so please remember them as well!

I'll try to keep you guys posted as things develop!
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers!

STILL counting down to Chemo...

by Becky Jackson on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 9:24am

Well, I went in for my treatment yesterday, sat in the office for a few hours, only to find out that I wasn't able to start treatment yet.  Had I started treatments, I would have had an awesome support group though!  Zach and Lisa K went with me to keep me company.  They did do lab work and all of it came back normal.  We also got the results of the PET Scan.  Stage 2A!  Woot Woot!  This means that the cancer is in 2 places above my diaphram.  It is in my chest, where about 90% of the mass was removed, and in the lymphnodes under my left collarbone.  Let me take a moment and be Momma Becky here, if you ever EVER feel a weird lump or bump...anywhere...it's worth having it checked out.  Even if you're hard headed (like me). I felt the one under my collarbone a while back, however, I thought it was just a tight muscle.  It felt good to stretch and rub it, and then it wouldn't hurt.  Who knew?

So back to not having treatment.  Since I just received the Lupron shot (see Countdown to Chemo) last Friday, and it needs to be my system for at least 10 days, we will start NEXT Monday.  It was a good thing I mentioned that in the oncologist's office yesterday because THAT fertility Dr. sure didn't emphasize that.  That would have been a fine howchado. Also, people have been asking about if I will lose my hair or not.  The simple answer is 'we don't know'.  Dr. Gentry says it could thin, it could come out, or it could stay just like it is.  I've already decided I'm going to give blonde whirl if it comes out!  (but we are hoping it just stays like it is :)

Anyways...let me tell ya, I definitely felt the love on Valentine's Day though!  I received so many 'thinking of you' texts and comments from all of you guys!  I had a couple of Chemo Care packages (thank you Amy and Lisa K!) and Carrie was even baking Chemo Cupcakes!  Thank you everyone!!  I'll re-read those next Monday!  Along with a charm bracelet and flowers, Zach got me a bike.  Now those of you that know me may be thinking 'what the...she HATES biking'  True.  I do, however, not on this bike.  It is a beach cruiser!  I may look like a big dork out there, but my butt doesn't hurt and my back isn't sore!  Maybe I found a new hobby.  Probably not, but it would good for me.
Probably will not be posting until next week, unless I come up with something different to post about.  Maybe I'll have a bike riding story ;)

Also additional prayers are needed for my family.  First off my grandmother is in the nursing home and it's really a up one day, down the next type situation.  She's comfortable though, kind of in a big daydream.

Also, my brother, Doug, and his wife, Carrie, are expecting again!  As of right now, they are twins.  One of the babies is kind of a iffy situation. It is about a week behind in development than the other, but it is STAYing a week behind so that's a good sign.  It doesn't have much amniotic fluid.  We know the healthy one is a girl.  The little one is still a mystery.  Thoughts and prayers would be apprecitated for their situation too.

It's been a rough start to the new year, but hopefully things are starting to look up! The other day, Lisa K gave me a bracelet with a little quote on it so I'll leave you guys with this thought...

Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell your storm how big your GOD is.

Countdown to Chemo...

by Becky Jackson on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 1:10pm

Well, it's been a while since my last update so I have to play a little catch up.  I think i left off with my heart test and port installation.  In between those was a fertility appointment.  There are some things you just don't think of.  I would have never thought, even with all of this, that I would be 28  years old, never have even tried to have children, and sitting in a fertility clinic talking in vitro.  You know, it's really cool what they can do with medicine.  It is unbelievable to me that they can 'create' (for lack of a better word) little embryos and save them for later use.  It is unbelievable to me that they can throw me into a medical menopause, to hopefully save my ability to have children, just for the time I am on treatment.  However, as brought to light to me by Bro. Wesley, just because they can do all these awesome things, doesn't mean they are all the right choices for me.  After reflecting on things overnight (because right now all of our decisions have to be made at the speed of light), we decided against in vitro and for a shot called Lupron.  The idea of this medicine is that while it 'shuts down' my reproductive system, the chemo can attack the active cells in  my body, the lymphoma, and hopefully skip over the reproductive system.  Now this is not a for sure thing, but it should improve my chances of having children when this is all said and done.  At this point I would like to ask for prayers for Zach.  He will be having to deal with me...going through menopause.  Study wise, there isn't a lot out there because of all the different factors.  My age, my type of chemo, how long I have the chemo, what disease I have, etc. But we pray, and we hope, and we stay positive and if the Lord wants some more little Jackson's out there, he will make it happen.  So, that was my Wednesday of last week.  Thursday they inserted my port.  This is kind of a cool thing too.  It is just a small round 'thing' that goes under my skin, so they don't have to stab me for a vein every time I go in for treatment and blood work.  It is up by my collarbone and has a catheter that goes straight into my artery.  Since I am meaty, hopefully it won't be that noticable!  Oh, did I mention my brother's friend put in the port.  Weird huh?  I knew I recognized the name Peter Kim! So all that was left (for the week) was my PFT.  That's Pulmonary Function Test.  Pretty much consisted of me breathing in this computer tube thing and her telling me I was normal.  Nothing exciting there.  However it did snow on Friday!  That was exciting!  The weekend was pretty uneventful.  Slept in, went to church, superbowl.  Monday was the PET Scan.  This will determine what stage I'm in.  When I went in, I was escorted to a small room with a big comfy plush leather chair (which did recline).  I was injected with radioactive solution what sticks to my active cells and tells where the lymphoma is.  For a whole 70 minutes I didn't, well couldn't, do ANYTHING.  No playing with phone, no reading, just a big nap in a huge chair with a warm blanket.  Doesn't sound too bad does it?!  Then they put me in a machine, like a CT scan machine -or maybe a MRI machine (I'm still not clear on what machine does what) and it takes pictures.  Stay tuned for results which should be back in a few days.  Now, Friday will be my last test, Lord willin and the creek don't rise. Which evidently is entirely possible 4-8", 6-10", 8-14" (depending on which news you listen to) of snow melting.  Gotta Love this good ol Arkansas weather!  Friday's test is a bone marrow test, which I will be put down for.  I mean put out for, lol! When it's all said and done, I may wish they would have put me down!  Evidently it will feel like a big deep bruise on my hip.  Joy.  I feel like a pin cushion all ready.  Now, this may make some of you think 'it could be in her bones!' The answer is yes.  Isn't that bad? Well yeah, but not too bad.  No matter what stage I'm in (bones are stage 4) I'm still treatable/curable.  Just may be a little longer treatment.  Ehh, what's a couple more months?  So for now, we will just keep on keepin on.  Again, I'd like to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers!  I am so blessed to have you all! 

EditSheesh! A whirlwind of Dr's appts and one port later, I'm on my way to recovery!

by Becky Jackson on Wednesday, February 2, 2011 at 10:05am

Wowzers!  Who knew there was so much involved to get started on a chemo treatment?!?  So yesterday I had my first appointment with my very own oncologist.  Dr. Rhonda Gentry.  And boy is she great!  She could win any Ms. Congeniality contest!  I think we are a great match and this is going to be a great relationship.  Before I can start treatment, I have to go through all sorts of tests and stuff to get me ready.  These will be happening over the remainder of this week and next week and include a Heart test (which i went through yesterday), a PFT (pulmonary function test), a fertility consult, a PET scan, a port installation, and a bone marrow test.  Once all of those have been done and come back, we can start the treatment.  And pending on if everything comes back ok we will start treatment on ....... VALENTINE'S DAY!  I don't know how I feel about that since Valentines day is on a Monday, we probably wouldn't be doing anything big anyways.  I just hope treatment doesn't make me sick!  'happy blughghghghahhah Valentine's day Honey!'  Anyways, I won'te!! keep you as long as I did in my initial note.  Just wanted to keep everyone posted!  I'll try to write about my experience along the way.  Oh, tomorrow I'm having my port installed.  Maybe they'll install a USB so i can charge my iphone!

Until next time!!

Me - What's going on, a little background, and updates

by Becky Jackson on Monday, January 31, 2011 at 9:41am

As many of you may have heard, I did have some surgery and have been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, but we'll get there in a minute.  This all started back in the summer when a lump came up on my neck.  It was where that little dip is... between your collar bones.  I thought it was a just a surface thing, so when I went to the Dr., she told me that it looked like a boil and to apply moist heat and try to get it to drain. I applied heat, and it drained. and it drained. and it drained.  So finally I realized something else was clearly going on, so I made an appointment with the dermatologist.  She told me it looked like a cyst that needed to come out, so I went to Dr. Michael McGhee (awesome guy) to have it removed.  During that surgery, he discovered that this 'cyst' went further down in to my chest, behind my breast bone.  We then made an appointment with a thoracic surgeon, Dr. Hugh Burnett (another awesome Dr.) After reviewing my ct scan, he determined it was a thymic cyst.  Not thyroid, thymus.  Evidently, for those of you who like me who didn't even know I HAD a thymus gland, your thymus gland helps set up your immune system when you are a kid.  When it's job is done, it just turns into a fatty tissue and just hangs out behind your breast bone.  Well, mine had turned into a 'cyst'.  January 10, we went in to have it removed at Baptist Hospital.  If you remember, January 9th was the big snow storm of 2011, so just getting to the hospital was a challange!  But we made it and spent the night at the Baptist Plaza hotel.  Surgery went well, however, the thing was bigger than expected.  About 8" to be exact.  I was cut from neck to belly, my first (and hopefully last) sternotomy, which is MUCH more painful than I was expecting.  Which I really don't know what I was thinking, I mean having your breast bone cracked open sure sounds bad, I guess I thought I was tough.  Surgery was on Monday and I was released on Friday.  I went back to work the following Monday, just for a few hours a day (back to full time now!) Anyway, after extracting the -now called- mass, pathology here determined it was Hodgkin's Lymphoma and sent it off to Boston for confirmation.  Which we got last Monday.  So....now we start treatment on that.  I tell ya..If it's not one thing, it's another. When it rains, it pours.  If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.  (Insert your own old timey saying here) Nevertheless we go, get it taken care of, and move on with our lives.  (I've got lots of things planned!  I didn't plan for any down time!) Today I have my follow up appointment with my surgeon so he will hopefully release me from this dang 'no picking up more than 10lbs rule'.  I mean really doc, what in my life weighs less than 10 lbs?!  My purse weighs more than that!  And I'm REALLY having a hard time not picking up my nephew Griffin!  For those of you who have noticed, he has been my entertainment for the past 2 weeks!  So there will probably be more pictures and videos to come!  Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and for those of you who came to the hospital, I thank you again!  You guys have been awesome through all of this and I don't know how I would make it without you.